Dude, you're never gettin' your DELL!!

Paula suggested I use this public forum to express my extreme displeasure with Dell and their sad excuse for customer service.

Originally I tried to convey the entire experience I've had with Dell, but the novel I ended up with would surely cause some of you to jump in front of traffic.

So I'll sum up.

I researched and settled on the Dell 2007WFP LCD monitor as it seemed to be the best for photo editing (for those not in the know I'm a part time wedding photographer).

Ordered 4/21
Delivered 4/25
Set up and no display, not even the self test.

First call to Tech support 4/25 - The advisor in India did not seem to understand that I simply wanted to exchange this monitor for the exact same model. He made it seem like that was not possible, and I would need to return it, and re-order the one I wanted. He claimed to have taken care of the return for me. Told me to wait for return shipping label.

Later 4/25 - First dude's "manager" calls ME back and says that the first dude wasn't allowed to call returns on my behalf. He said he'd get someone on the line for me and put me on hold. A few minutes later he comes on line and tells me that he can't get through so he'll call me back once he gets through. Acutally what he says is "I'll have you call me back". I clarified "you mean you'll call me back when you get someone on the line?" He says, "yes, I'll have you call me back." For real. I could not make this stuff up folks. I'm not that smart.
He comes back on the line says that the returns department is now closed, he'll "have you call me back" on Monday.

Second call to Customer Service 4/28 - This person had a shred of brain and sets up an exchange for me. Or so I think. I have no proof except an exchange number which seems good for nothing rather than people telling me that I have an exchange number. Supposedly something will happen in 24-48 hours.

Third call to Customer Service 5/1 - 72 hours later and nothing has happend. The woman tells me that it takes at least 8 business days for "something" to happen. "Please be patient."

Fourth call to "so called" Customer Service 5/9 - It's been 10 business days, and while "things" are happening all around, "some" thing has yet to happen. While most people complain about the accent of help desk advisors in India, I don't think I would have understood this woman in ANY language. She really ought to be doing those voice overs for car or bank commercials where they read REEEAALLY fast to get all thet legalease in at the end. Yeah. She'd make millions. So now I really have no idea what's going on. I've given up on the idea of something. Now I'm pretty much hoping for anything.

It's now been 15 business days since I first called for support on my DOA Dell monitor. Dell has had my money for 15 days, and I've got jack. I think I've been more than patient.

Did I mention that in my full time job, I travel all over Illinois as an IT consultant for one of the Big Three? Right now we're in a period of fast technological growth in the auto industry. Technicians are starting to consider a computer to be just like any other computer they'd buy for their toolbox. They ask ME what kind of laptop they should buy, what BRAND do I recommend? Hmmmm... well, there's lots of choices, but I'd stay away from Dell.