Thursday, June 12, 2008

An open letter to my friends on the Lake Front Path.

To Mr. No-Hands:

I'm curious. What is it about winds gusting up to 20mph off the lake, 30 people walking and riding within 3 feet of you on a 10ft wide path, and those patches of sand strewn all over the asphalt that just says to you "oh yeah, this is safe!". I would applaud your efforts to clean up the gene pool by your attempt to hasten your departure from this earth, except that I'm sure you'll do great bodily injury to others in the process.

Just as I was wondering (quite literally) if anyone could match your stupidity, along came your sister...

To The Woman Showing Mr. No-Hands That "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better!":

THE FUCKING HELMET GOES ON YOUR HEAD, NOT ON THE HANDLEBARS!!!! I will never understand this mentality. Ok. Don't wear a helmet. As a kid my favorite part of haloween was alwasy gutting the jack-o-lantern cuz it looked like splattered brains to me. Getting to see that any other time of the year is just an extra special treat. But for God's sake, if you're going to shell out your hard earned cash and then you even bother to bring the thing with you on your ride, PUT IT ON YOUR FREAKIN' HEAD. Especially if you're going to ride no-handed in close quarters with a crazy cross wind pushing you around. But never mind that, the pavement doesn't care how it becomes aquianted with your skull. It will kill you just the same. God.. What if these two procrated!!

To The Woman Letting Her Toddler Play In Traffic:

I can't even make light of this one. Not 5 minutes after I encountered the geniuses above I cam upon a woman sitting on a park bench surround by others of varying ages. The youngest (no older than 2, just old enought to walk) , however, was toddling out into the middle of the path. This woman was making no attempt what so ever to retrieve, protect, or otherwise show any sort of parental (or at least adult) responsability for this defenseless child. Fortunately the path was rather clear at this point and I saw her well in advance and was already riding at a slow pace as, contrary to all-too-many cyclists' opinions, the LFP north of the city at 5pm is NOT a good place for getting your 30mph rocks off. As I passed I pointed to the toddler and said "Someone has to look out for her." I can only pray for her.

To The Young Lovers:

Finally, on the south side, away from the idiot throngs I can finally ride just a little more relaxed without the fear of impending doom from the human circus that is the LFP. Then I come upon two pairs of young lovers out for an evening stroll. Walking 4 abreast, hand in hand, playing the Chicago version of Red Rover. They literally had the path covered from edge to edge and wondered back and forth making it impossible to figure out where they were headed. I mean, c'mon.. What am I supposed to do with this? I wasn't sure if I should announce myself on the right or the left, so I yelled "PICK A SIDE!!" At this they managed to part enough for me to split the difference.

I feel like I should make it clear that I headed down to the path to enjoy the weather, my bike, and the scenery. This was not intended to be a workout by most definitions. I always try to ride respectfully, and especially when wearing the team kit I try to represent cyclists in the best, most respectful light I can. I would have had these same views if I was in shorts, sandles, and riding a schwinn cruzer (anyone have one for sale?). The path is just not safe at any speed. I'm afraid it's time to bid it a fond adieu for the summer and find another slice of chicago for my non-training, out-for-a-Sunday-stroll bike rides as well.


Blogger Todd Scott said...

The Soup is hot! :) I hope everything else is going well.

12/6/08 9:00 PM  
Blogger Soupy said...

Hey Todd! Yeah, things are going pretty well otherwise. Miss the monday night rides.. :(

12/6/08 9:38 PM  
Blogger julie said...

now you know why we all workout there BEFORE work. dude, afternoons on the trail ain't pretty.

13/6/08 12:12 PM  
Blogger Soupy said...

Oh, I get that. I know the smart folks go out early or late when there's less traffic. I was just amazed that even for a casual ride how unsafe it was.

13/6/08 12:42 PM  
Anonymous Paolo said...

Yeah - the wifey and girlie and I don't ever ride the path this time of year despite how close it is to home. We prefer to drive to Caldwell woods to get the north branch trail and ride that - more shade, slower riders, and more curves.

17/6/08 11:39 AM  

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